Standing up for Freedom, Jen Psaki edition

1775: The shot heard round the world.

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2014: The selfie sent round the internet.

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Yeah, they’re like totally the same, right?

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Are you ready for NCIS: Parking Enforcement?

The U.S. Navy is tracking your parking tickets. Because, you know, they have nothing else to do these days.

A parking ticket, traffic citation or involvement in a minor fender-bender are enough to get a person’s name and other personal information logged into a massive, obscure federal database run by the U.S. military.

The Law Enforcement Information Exchange, or LinX, has already amassed 506.3 million law enforcement records ranging from criminal histories and arrest reports to field information cards filled out by cops on the beat even when no crime has occurred.

LinX is a national information-sharing hub for federal, state and local law enforcement agencies. It is run by the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, raising concerns among some military law experts that putting such detailed data about ordinary citizens in the hands of military officials crosses the line that generally prohibits the armed forces from conducting civilian law enforcement operations.

Those fears are heightened by recent disclosures of the National Security Agency spying on Americans, and the CIA allegedly spying on Congress, they say.

If you don’t pay, does Mark Harmon come knocking on your door?

OK, in all seriousness, this is creepy. But par for the course with Obama.

The #VRWC report, the Cory Booker’s road trip to Hawaii edition

If you don’t believe Cory Booker once drove from New Jersey to Hawaii, you just might be a Climate Change Denier. And of course he hit all 57 states along the way!

According to DHS, rock-throwing illegal aliens are scarier than a killer rabbit.

John Hudak is a lying sack of camel dung. Which is in no way meant as an insult to actual camel dung.

Bill de Blasio hates children. Because children don’t pay teachers union dues.

If everybody hates Daylight Saving Time, why do we still have it?

Another day, another imperial decree, this time granting legal status and benefits to thousands of illegal aliens if they’re related to a member of the U.S. military. I’m as pro-military as they come, but it strikes me that if this is such a good idea you’d think Congress would want to go on record as being in favor of it.

Every time someone watches this Cadillac ad a libtard’s head explodes.

In case you were unclear on NJ teen Rachel Canning’s motives for suing her parents, behold her Facebook fan page.

Peek inside Barack Obama’s diary, and then imagine how it would read if we had a Real President.

Meanwhile in Connecticut, we are all felons now.

Finally for today, 20 jokes that only really smart people will understand.

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Cross-posted from TheoSpark.net.

Run Away! DHS says rock-throwing illegal aliens are scarier than a killer rabbit

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Run Away. It’s official US Border Patrol policy. When faced with a killer rabbit rock-throwing illegal alien, our government says “run away.”

Top administration officials have directed 21,000 border patrol officers to retreat whenever illegal immigrants throw rocks at them, and to avoid getting in front of foreign drug-smugglers’ vehicles as they head north with their drug shipments.

“Agents shall not discharge firearms in response to thrown or hurled projectiles… agents should obtain a tactical advantage in these situations, such as seeking cover or distancing themselves,” said the instructions, issued Mar. 7, under the signature of Michael Fisher, chief of U.S. Border Patrol.

Agents were also directed to keep their weapons holstered when drug smugglers drive by.

Agents can’t use guns against “a moving vehicle merely fleeing from agents,” say the instructions.

The instructions also suggest that officers be penalized if they don’t step back.

Brave Sir Robin joined the border patrol!

Agents would be equipped with short-range tasers and pepper spray, plus medium-range pellet guns, to deter attacks.

Me? I’d use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.