Total Information Awareness returns: HHS wants full access to all your social media posts

HHS wants to search your social media. Every tweet. Every Facebook like. Every Instagram picture. For the past 5 years.

Remember Total Information Awareness? That was nothing compared to this.

The Department of Health and Human Services wants full access to all of your social media data to monitor public health issues. Not only do they want current data, the creeps want to be able to go back five years.

Uh huh. “Public health issues.” Riiiight. Like people complaining about Obamacare. That’s their idea of a “public health issue.”

HHS provides a long list of requirements, including “access to real-time social media posts,” and “access to full Twitter firehose.”

The agency requires an archive that goes back at least five years of “full Twitter historical data.” The government will also need “access to multiple account log-ins,” “real-time alerting,” the “ability to construct lengthy Boolean searches,” and a function that can filter search results based on the location of a Twitter user.

Geotagging and real-time search. So they know where to send the storm troopers.

For our own good, of course.

This just in, solar panels don’t work when they’re covered in snow

Finally, a use for Global Warming! All this snow is blocking our solar panels from generating electricity.

For the countless solar panels that have cropped up on rooftops and fields across the region, winters like this one can reduce solar output when the panels become covered with snow or clouds filter the sunlight.

Overall, PSE&G’s solar production has dropped this winter as the state has been hit hard by snowstorm after snowstorm, said Todd Hranicka, director of solar energy, although he had no specific figures.

“It’s one of the challenges of solar,” he said. “If the sunlight is not hitting the solar panel, you’re not generating energy.”

So let me see if I’ve got this straight. We need solar energy to reduce our carbon footprint. Reducing our carbon footprint cools the air so we get more snow. And the snow stops the solar panels from working. Which means our carbon footprint goes up!

Move over MREs, make room for PREs: Pizza Ready To Eat

Yes it’s really pizza, with a shelf life of 3 years, and it’s coming to a battlefield near you.

They call it the holy grail of ready-to-eat meals for soldiers: a pizza that can stay on the shelf for up to three years and still remain good to eat.

Soldiers have been asking for pizza since lightweight individual field rations — known as meals ready to eat, or MREs — replaced canned food in 1981 for soldiers in combat zones or areas where field kitchens cannot be set up.

Researchers at a U.S. military lab in Massachusetts are closing in on a recipe that doesn’t require any refrigeration or freezing.

“You can basically take the pizza, leave it on the counter, packaged, for three years and it’d still be edible,” said Michelle Richardson, a food scientist at the U.S. Army Natick Soldier Research, Development and Engineering Center.

Ah, but how does it taste?

Most soldiers haven’t tried it because it’s still being developed, but Jill Bates, who runs the lab, said she was happy after tasting the latest prototype batch of pepperoni. She describes it as a pan pizza, with a crust that’s a little moist and not super-crispy.

“It pretty much tastes just like a typical pan pizza that you would make at home and take out of the oven or the toaster oven,” she said. “The only thing missing from that experience would be it’s not hot when you eat it. It’s room temperature.”

The lab brings in food technologists to taste recipes and give feedback.

One of the technologists, Dan Nattress, agreed the pizza deserves a thumbs-up.

“It tastes pretty much what you would get from a pizza parlor,” he said.

Is this a great country or what?

In a surprise move, the Cleveland Browns fired their fans today

Seems legit to me:

In other news, the Browns shook up their front office.

In a stunning move Tuesday, the Cleveland Browns fired CEO Joe Banner and former general manager Michael Lombardi, while elevating assistant GM Ray Farmer.

Lombardi, a former NFL Network analyst, lasted just 13 months as the Browns’ general manager, hiring head coach Rob Chudzinski, who was fired after one season, and replacing him with former Jets defensive coordinator Mike Pettine after a long search.

That’s the Browns, where guys who couldn’t cut it with the Jets go to die.

Take your autoplay ads and stick em where the sun don’t shine

The Lonely Conservative rants about my #1 pet peeve.

Good grief. As a blogger I’m constantly opening up web pages in new tabs and there is nothing more annoying than the auto play videos. If I have five tabs open I have to go to each one to find out where the noise is coming from. Usually it’s easy to find, but not always. Breitbart sites are the worst. The Hill has joined them. ABC News is a big offender. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve closed them out because of it. Half the time I would have stuck around, read the stories and possibly linked to them sending traffic their way. Instead I close them out.

The absolute worst are the pages that hold the audio until you’ve clicked away, and then 20 minutes later start blaring at full volume.  It’s impossible to figure out which tab is the culprit before the ad finishes. And 20 minutes later, it fires up again! What is wrong with you people?

Die you gravy sucking pigs.

If you think this makes me want to buy your product, well, you are completely retarded.

Quinnipiac: Chris Christie’s troubles are Rand Paul’s and Paul Ryan’s gain, Hillary remains flat

All the media hype over Bridgegate has sunk Chris Christie’s poll numbers. But it hasn’t helped Hillary Clinton gain any ground.

Sorry Tom Moran, but these aren’t the poll numbers you were hoping for.

Secretary Clinton gets 43 percent today, with Gov. Christie at 42 percent. This compares to a 46 – 38 percent Christie lead in a November 20 survey by the independent Quinnipiac University.
Christie’s plunge does not help Clinton who is struggling against other Republicans:
  • U.S. Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky gets 47 percent to Clinton’s 43 percent;
  • Clinton is at 44 percent with 43 percent for U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas;
  • U.S. Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin leads her 48 – 43 percent

I guess it’s time for the media to set their sights on two new targets.  The Hilldabeast must be carried into the White House by any means necessary. It said so on journ-o-list.

Boehner hits the brakes on immigration reform

And all it took was a semi-credible primary challenger! Guys like Boehner love their jobs more than they love America.

But if he’s serious, this is indeed Very Good News.

House Speaker John Boehner hit the brakes on immigration legislation on Thursday, saying it will be “difficult” to move any bill in the current climate — comments that signal a rough road ahead for one of President Obama’s top 2014 priorities.

Obama had urged Congress to pass immigration reform during his State of the Union address last week. A glimmer of common ground appeared days later when, during the House Republican retreat, GOP leaders issued guidelines for what they would accept in a comprehensive immigration overhaul. The guidelines included a path to legal status for some illegal immigrants.

But Boehner, under pressure from conservative rank-and-file members to slow things down, said Thursday that lawmakers remain concerned about the administration’s willingness to enforce immigration law.

“There’s widespread doubt about whether this administration can be trusted to enforce our laws, and it’s going to be difficult to move any immigration legislation until that changes,” Boehner said.

There’s also widespread doubt about whether John Boehner can be trusted to keep his word. So we’ll be holding your feet to the fire John. Don’t let us down.