Are you ready for NCIS: Parking Enforcement?

The U.S. Navy is tracking your parking tickets. Because, you know, they have nothing else to do these days.

A parking ticket, traffic citation or involvement in a minor fender-bender are enough to get a person’s name and other personal information logged into a massive, obscure federal database run by the U.S. military.

The Law Enforcement Information Exchange, or LinX, has already amassed 506.3 million law enforcement records ranging from criminal histories and arrest reports to field information cards filled out by cops on the beat even when no crime has occurred.

LinX is a national information-sharing hub for federal, state and local law enforcement agencies. It is run by the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, raising concerns among some military law experts that putting such detailed data about ordinary citizens in the hands of military officials crosses the line that generally prohibits the armed forces from conducting civilian law enforcement operations.

Those fears are heightened by recent disclosures of the National Security Agency spying on Americans, and the CIA allegedly spying on Congress, they say.

If you don’t pay, does Mark Harmon come knocking on your door?

OK, in all seriousness, this is creepy. But par for the course with Obama.

Whiny neighbors want NJ naval base to stop playing the national anthem

“It’s too loud.”

Some neighbors of Naval Weapons Station Earle are complaining that the sound from the navy base’s flag ceremonies is too loud.

According to the Asbury Park Press, people living near the navy base’s waterfront location in Middletown can clearly hear the “Call to Colors” followed by “The Star-Spangled Banner” being played when the base raises its flag at 8 a.m. and also during a similar ceremony at sunset when the flag is lowered.

“Why should someone not in the service have to wake up to reveille?’” 11th Street resident Bob Wille asked.

Hey Bob, whatcha gonna do when it’s the Muzzies blaring their call to prayer 5 times a day?

If you complain about that, they’ll lop your head off.

Our national anthem represents freedom Bob. Try not to be such a douchebag about it, OK?