Having solved all our other problems, the NJ legislature redefines the English language

Why use one word when a paragraph will do?

Legislation that would strike from state law “pejorative and archaic language” that refers to people with disabilities began advancing in the state Assembly today.

The Assembly Human Services Committee voted 5-0 to approve the bill (A4461), which would make hundreds of changes in the way state law refers to disabilities.

Among the changes:

  • “Handicapped persons” would be referred to instead as “persons with disabilities.” References to “crippled” would be replaced with “physical disability.”
  • “Drug dependent person” or “drug addict” would be replaced with “person with a substance use disorder involving drugs or narcotics.”
  • The term “minimal brain dysfunction” would be replaced by “attention deficit hyperactivity disorder”
  • “Muteness” would be called “inability to speak.”

Because the important thing is to make drug addicts feel good about how their arrest warrant reads.

How this legislation lowers my taxes remains unclear.

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Los Angeles schools reclassify failure as success so 22,000 failing students can graduate

What do you do when 22,000 high school seniors are failing their courses? You reclassify failure as success and let them graduate anyway!

The Hispanic-dominated Los Angeles Unified School District Board has decided it is better to let failing students graduate with D grades rather than deny them a diploma because of their poor grades in college prep classes.

The board unanimously agreed on Tuesday that students with a D grade in so-called A-G courses, which are required for entry to the University of California and California State University systems, could graduate and earn their diploma. The Daily News reported that 51 percent of incoming seniors are behind on the courses.

Although she voted for the change, board member Tamar Galatzan was worried about the board’s action, asserting, “I am worried we are setting students up for failure because this district hasn’t gotten its act together,” according to SCPR.

Give that lady an “A” for effort. And a “D” for effect.

Old and busted: Everybody gets a trophy.

New hotness: Everybody gets a diploma!

Tell me again how dumbing down standards helps kids get ahead in the world?

Out: NSA telephone spying. In: NSA internet spying!

Big Brother is everywhere. And as it turns out, a step ahead of those clowns in Congress.

The Obama administration has expanded its warrantless surveillance of Americans’ overseas Internet browsing in an effort to find hackers, The New York Times reported Thursday.

The revelations come from classified National Security Agency documents included in the cache leaked by former NSA contractor Edward Snowden.

The report says the Department of Justice (DOJ) in 2012 wrote two secret memos that granted the NSA authority to snoop on Internet cables abroad. The intent was to find information on domestic cyberattacks that originated overseas.

But it’s OK, they’re only spying on foreigners. Except when they weren’t.

According to the Times, the documents show the NSA overstepped its mandate, collecting data on hackers not clearly affiliated with foreign authorities.

Remember when George W. Bush looked at some mutt’s library card and the lefties went bonkers?

Yeah, me neither.