Comrade Mayor Kelley confirms he will raise our taxes

I hate it when I’m right.

I said Caldwell’s new Democratic Socialist Council Politburo would gleefully raise our taxes to fund their utopian schemes, and Comrade Mayor General Secretary Kelley has now confirmed that fact in an interview with The Tap.

This year, we will have to increase taxes to do the work we have to do.

And what “work” is that Comrade?

For starters, he’s gonna merge our police department with West Caldwell’s. He claims that’ll save us a million dollars a year. And yet, he still needs to raise our taxes?

He wants to create a Sewer Authority so that tax-exempt entities pay sewer fees, which he says will save us money. But he still needs to raise our taxes.

He’s gung-ho to establish a Stormwater Authority to, you guessed it!, raise our taxes. Caldwell will be among the first municipalities in the state to impose Phil Murphy’s Rain Tax. I think that’s known as being “Progressive,” or something.

Where’s all this tax money going? Affordable Housing!

Kelley also noted that the borough council recently voted to authorize a contract with Topology to work toward an area-wide rehabilitation designation.

“An area-wide rehabilitation designation” is the first step in declaring our town “blighted,” paving the way for redevelopment and the construction of high-density housing. Goodbye charming downtown Caldwell, hello East German Bauhaus brutalism circa 1962. Or East Orange as it looks today. Whatever works so long as it brings in busloads of new Democratic party voters.

For eight years former Mayor Ann Dassing and a Republican council majority kept the municipal tax levy essentially flat. And yet the garbage got collected, snow got plowed, streets got paved, and water mains got replaced. The cops came when you called. The fire department bought a new truck. In other words, Caldwell’s government worked and the taxpayers didn’t get hosed.

After a mere six months in power the Democrats are already upending the status quo and salivating at the prospect of all that new revenue. And John Kelley has another 3 1/2 years to go. Yippee Kai Ay.

Some butthurt liberal told Facebook my “Cardboard Police” blog post is Hate Speech

So it seems that General Secretary John Kelley and the Caldwell Politburo don’t like it when I mock them. Someone reported my last blog post — Attack Of The Eco-Stasi Cardboard Police — to Facebook for, get this, “hate speech.”

El Oh El comrades.

If you don’t like the mockery, don’t do mockable stuff. Like, you know, wasting tax dollars on garbage snooping. And while you’re at it, lighten up. Take the rod out of your ass. Or I shall taunt you a second time.