ISIS Has ‘Grievances’? Why didn’t they say so! Tell ’em to celebrate Festivus with us!

Joint Chiefs Chairman General Martin Dempsey recently told an interviewer, “ISIS has ‘grievances’ that need to be addressed.”

Grievances? Why didn’t they say so?

Because, we’ve got a holiday for that!

C’mon Muslims, adopt Festivus, make it yours, air your grievances!

Then we’ll get a couple of Marines to face off with some of your guys in the Feats of Strength.

Kick your ass, we will. Pin you, too.

Gee, this multicultural thing might work out after all.

NJ town reverses course, won’t disgrace JFK Center by renaming it for Obama

Sanity prevails in Willingboro, NJ. Their township recreation center, named for President John F. Kennedy, will not be renamed for Dear Leader after all.

A New Jersey recreation center memorializing John F. Kennedy won’t be renamed after President Obama following a reversal by local officials.

The Willingboro Township Council voted 5-0 on Tuesday to rescind its controversial decision to rename the John F. Kennedy Center, which once served as the town’s former high school, as the Barack Obama Center. More than 200 people reportedly applauded the decision during a meeting in the building’s auditorium, the Philadelphia Inquirer reports.

“We have to listen to the people,” Mayor Eddie Campbell told the newspaper. “The people have spoken, and we believe in government by the people.”

But there’s still one councilman who kisses the ground Obama walks on.

That vote last month was 3-1 in favor of the name change. Councilman Darvis Holley said at the time, “I happen to idolize Barack Obama.

Dude, get a clue. And seriously, go back on your meds. Please.