Are you ready for a patdown?
The NFL wants all fans patted down from the ankles up this season to improve fan safety.
Under the new “enhanced” pat-down procedures, the NFL wants all 32 clubs to search fans from the ankles to the knees as well as the waist up. Previously, security guards only patted down fans from the waist up while looking for booze, weapons or other banned items.
Kinda gives a whole new meaning to “touchdown,” eh? I think I’ll throw a flag for illegal use of the hands. And watch the games on TV.